Saturday, October 23, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
I asked this guy, "Would you like a drink?" He said, "My wife is on the
other side." I said, "OK, I'll get to her. Would you like a
drink?" He said, "Yes, but just ask her, she'll know what I want." I
said, "So you don't want to order for yourself?" He said, "No, just ask
her." So I walked around to the next aisle. There was no one there.
People do that all the time, assuming that their friend or wife or whoever is in
the next aisle, not knowing that they've wandered off. So I continued
taking orders in the rest of my station. When I came back with the drinks,
one of the ladies I handed a Diet Coke to said, "I'm so sorry. My husband
just yelled at me because I didn't order for him. Can you bring him a gin
and tonic?" I said, "Sure." I added the gin and tonic onto my next
order, and guess what? When I came back around I couldn't find either one
of them. People are a fucking pain in my ass!
Friday, October 22, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
These three guys were sitting at the bar, drinking, and playing video poker.
These three other guys walked up and one of them approached one guy from behind
and just punched him hard in the head. He hit him so hard that his face
slammed into the counter and his nose was pouring blood. The first three
guys, including the guy with the broken nose, jumped up from their seats and the
other three guys backed off, but didn't run. (I don't know about you, but
if someone gave me a bloody nose I'd be crying like a wuss and begging for my
life.) They started yelling and cussing at each other, and they were
throwing beer bottles at each other, saying stuff like, "What's up? You
want some of this?" and "C'mon, motherfucker, I'll kick your ass." Other
customers at the bar were trying to duck under the flying drinks. Then one
of the guys picked up a barstool and threw it, I mean he fucking hurled that
thing, at one of the guys. He missed, but I was pretty impressed at how
far he threw it. A couple more chairs went flying, then security guards
started showing up, so they all took off in different directions. The
whole thing couldn't have taken more than a few minutes, it was almost like it
didn't happen, except for the broken bottles and overturned chairs. Oh
yeah, and the blood on the bar. And all the customers who had witnessed
the whole thing, well, they just continued playing their video poker or talking
or watching TV. That's Vegas, I guess!
Monday, October 18, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
I had someone ask me if I served ice cream. Sigh. Another girl
wanted an apple martini. I asked if she wanted it straight up or on the
rocks. She gave me a puzzled look and said, "You know, it's a martini,
made with Apple Pucker." Sigh. I love when people are idiots but
think I'm the stupid one. I said, "Yes, I know what goes in it. Do
you want ice or no ice?" She looked at her friend, who very helpfully
shrugged, then looked at me again. "What do you mean?" I pointed to
a drink on my tray that had ice and said, "Do you want ice in your drink, or no
ice?" Finally, a look of recognition! "Oh, yes, ice please!"
Wow, I guess watching Sesame Street finally paid off.
Then I had these two really, really gay guys. I mean, flames were shooting
out of their asses. One of them said, with his legs crossed, "Oh, goody!
Yeth, yeth...I'd like a Sexth on the Beach, pleeeath!" while jumping up and down
in his chair, waving his arms with limp wrists. His boy/girlfriend, who
was the suave one with dark glasses and a cool attitude and a bit more self
control, said, "I'll have a Cosmopolitan on the rocks, with a twist." I
love these guys. They are always so fun, cattier than girls, and good
tippers.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
A couple walked up to the bar and asked the bartender, "How much are the drinks
when we're playing slots?' He said, "The drinks are complimentary."
The woman said, "Well, that's what we thought, but are you sure?" The
bartender said, "Yes, why?" She said, "Well, you better tell your boss
that the waitresses must be charging for drinks, because we saw them take money
from people, and they all have money on their trays." The bartender,
laughing, said, "Ma'am, they aren't charging for drinks. People are
tipping them." The woman said, "But you said the drinks are free."
He said, "Yes, the drinks are complimentary. But sometimes people show
their appreciation by tipping." The woman looked at her husband and said,
"Well, that's just stupid. Why would anyone do that?" Then they sat
down at the bar and she said, "Well, if we buy a drink, do you expect a tip
too?" He looked at them, then said, "No, not from you. And actually,
I'm going on break, so the other bartender will be right with you."
Friday, October 15, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
This old man, he must have been around eighty, said, "You are so nice, the
nicest waitress I've met in Las Vegas. If I gave you $200.00, would you
have sex with me?" I said, "Sure, but I would've done it for fifty."
No, I didn't. I said, "Since I'm pregnant it would be a ménage, so make it
$400.00." No, I didn't. I said, "Sure, but can you still get it up,
or should I bring a cucumber for backup?" No, really, what I said was,
"Sure, but I've had this really bad itch...." OK, OK...what I really
said was, "Sure, you perverted old fuck...throw in another bill and I'll toss
your salad like the boys in Oz." HAHAHAHAHA!!! Hell, I don't
remember what I said.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
This guy and his wife ordered drinks at the bar, and when the bartender set the
drinks down he said, "That'll be $8.50." They pulled out a coupon from
another casino and gave it to him. The bartender said, "I'm sorry, I can't
take that." The guy said, "Why not?" The bartender said, "Because
that coupon isn't from our hotel." The woman pointed at the small print at
the bottom of the coupon, stabbed it a few times for emphasis, and said
indignantly, "It says right here: 'This coupon is good anywhere'!" The
bartender, wishing he had taken the day off, said, "I'm sure they mean anywhere
in their casino. But I can't take it here." The woman grabbed the
coupon back and said, "This town is just a big rip-off, and you are just another
greedy person who has no morals trying to take our money." He said, "Yes,
I would've put that $8.50 in my pocket." She said, "I'm sure you would
have." And as they walked away she said, "We will never come back
to this town."
This kind of threat always makes me laugh. My reaction is always, "Really? You will never come back? You mean, I will never have to see you or deal with you ever again...say it isn't so! What am I to do? Please, please come back! Let me put up with your stupidity and rudeness, let me beg to serve you free drinks all night!"
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
I was walking behind this guy when he let out a huge burp. This was the
nastiest, juiciest burp I've ever heard, and it lasted a long time, coming out
in like three parts. And as if that wasn't disgusting enough, before I had
a chance to escape, I walked right into the smell. I don't know what he
had to eat, but nasty doesn't begin to describe it...I almost died from the
fumes. And he just kept walking like what he did was perfectly normal,
which I'm sure for him it was. Meanwhile, I wanted to gargle with
turpentine, or scrape my mouth with sandpaper...anything to get the taste and
smell out - ugh!
Friday, October 8, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
This guy said, "I'd like a Bud, but if my wife is here when you get back, just
keep walking." I kind of laughed and said, "OK." Sure enough, when I
came back, his wife was there, and as I walked by he completely ignored me.
I held onto his beer, and when I came back again, she was gone. He took
the Bud, tipped me, and said, "Thanks. I better get rid of this before she
comes back." And he drank that thing fast, I mean, I've never seen a beer
go down like that. Frat boys would be jealous! He handed me the
empty bottle and said, "OK, if you see me around, remember: we never met."
And he took off. I don't know...it's pretty hard to hide beer breath!
No, this isn't my license plate, but I wish it was! (I'd trade the Lakers frame for a Hello Kitty one, though!) My boyfriend followed the guy, who thought he was a nutcase, until he could explain that he just wanted a picture of the plate for my web site. Don't know what the guy does for a living, but he obviously works for tips...looks like we all want the same thing!
On our recent trip to Los Angeles, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant and I told the hostess, "Two, for nonsmoking." She said, "Uh...OK." I whispered to my boyfriend, "Did I say something stupid?" He said, "All the restaurants are nonsmoking in California." I was like, "Oh, yeah...I knew that." Although she was very nice, she was probably thinking what I think every day...great...another clueless tourist!"
Friday, October 1, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
One thing I can't stand is other employees trying to do my job for me. A
casino porter pointed to some customers and said they needed drinks, that they'd
been waiting a long time. I said, "Just tell them I will be there when I
get a chance." When I approached them, the porter was just standing there,
making sure I would come over. The customers said, "Thank you," to him, as
if it weren't for him, I would never have come over. Knowing that they
hadn't been waiting all that long, in fact, they were just sitting at the
machines not even playing, I said, "What can I get for you guys?" The girl
said, "Six Coronas." Seeing that there were only three of them I said,
"And who are the other three Coronas for?" She said, "We want two each."
I said, "Well, you're not getting two each." She said, "Why not?" I
said, "Do you have your I.D.?" She said, "No. Why?" I said,
"Because, you have to be at least 21 to drink or be in this area. And even
if you are, if you don't have your I.D. to prove your age, you have to leave."
One of the guys very brightly said, "We're 21. We'll get the beers for
her." I laughed and said, "No. And now that I know that, neither one
of you are getting served either." They all just stared at me. I
said, "You have to leave, now." The girl mumbled, "This is bullshit."
I turned to the porter, who was still standing there and said, "Since you don't
have anything else to do, do you want to get security, or do you want to waste
more of my time and make me do it?" He put up his hands and said, "Hey, I
don't know what's going on." I said, "That's right, you don't."
I'm going to be out of town for my boyfriend's brother's baby shower, so that means there will be no Daily Rounds updates and I won't be able to reply to e-mails for a few days. I'm running way behind on my e-mails...I know, I'm lame! I swear I'm not ignoring anyone, just have a little patience! :)