I've added a new section at the end of my Tipping Tips page regarding whether or not waitresses pay for drinks, and at the end of my Ordering Tips page regarding watered down drinks.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Shift: 2 AM - 10 AM
Station: Pit
Check out my latest fan mail:

Hello.

After reading your web site I have come to the conclusion that you have very little sex.

John Deere lizurdlips@yahoo.com

Hi John Deere,

Boy, am I glad to hear from you.  I bought a hoe and a blower a few days ago, but I can't figure out where the batteries go.  Also, exactly how does the V-Ripper work?

Dollie, aka Miss Little Sex No Longer

Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
I was walking through the slot area when a customer said, "Excuse me, could you tell me where the restrooms are?"  I said, "Sure, the men's room is to the right."  The customer looked at me for a second, then said, "I need the ladies' room."  I said, "Oh...of course!  I knew that.  It's on the left."  Shit, that was embarrassing.

Sunday, May 23, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
I've been getting a lot of e-mails asking where I work.  Although I would love to meet you guys (and I'm not just saying that...as you can see, I have many devoted fans), it would be against my better judgment to disclose that information.  Not only for my personal safety, but it would be very disruptive to business...not to mention unfair to the other cocktail waitresses to have a bunch of people wanting to sit in my station and throw money at me.  Of course people do that anyway...but my point is, I'm keeping it on the down low for now.  Thanks for understanding!

Saturday, May 22, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
Here are a couple more e-mails from my most devoted fans:

you say to tip 5 dollars for a drink and you might hurry back i bet where ever you work would be very interested in your attitude the waterdown drinks you get are worth 50 cents no more and lets face it your not a rocket scientist so why should we pay you like one your site is patheticas so are you

elizabeth farley betc58@yahoo.com

Dear Elizabeth,

You're right, I'm not a rocket scientist, I admit I'm just a cocktail waitress...sorry to have misrepresented myself.  But you seem really smart, you must have a PhD in spelling and grammar...and forming concise run-on sentences that don't let punctuation get in the way.  Thanks for the intelligent e-mail, I'll keep it in my Mensa file.

Dollie, aka Miss Patheticas


whats this crap doing on LVA

EILEEN ANTOKAL eant1@msn.com

Hi Eileen,

Now now, Eileen...don't be jealous...whenever you finally get around to it, I'll be more than happy to put my crap on your web site too.  Until then, keep up the positive attitude and you're right...who needs a high school diploma?

Dollie, aka Miss Patheticas-Crapolas

Monday, May 17, 2004
Shift: 8 PM - 4 AM
Station: Pit
As I was taking orders from one of the tables these two guys walked by.  One of the guys dropped something, and as he bent over to pick it up, he exposed the worst, hairiest, plumber's crack I've ever seen.  The whole table, including the dealer, saw it too.  As if on cue, we all emitted a very disgusted, "EEEWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the same time.  The guy's friend said, "Hey, bro, pull up your pants."  I was like, "Yeah, but it's too late."  The guy straightened up, winked at me, and said, "Bet you don't see that every day," and they walked off.  The dealer, who had been so traumatized, actually misdealed her cards.  She had to call the pit boss over and explain exactly why she screwed up.  He said, "So...you were watching some guy bend over?"  She was so embarrassed and laughing so hard that we all had to verify and back up her story.
 

Saturday, May 15, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
So these two guys ordered a couple of drinks and when I brought them, one of the guys said, "Where are you from?"  I said, "L.A."  He said, "Where are you really from?"  I said, "L.A."  He said, "No you're not."  I said, "I'm not?  Do you know something I don't?"  He said, "What I mean is, what nationality are you?"  I said, "I don't know."  He looked at his friend and said, "You don't know?  Oh, come on!"  And they gave each other a look that said, "Yeah, right!"  I said, "Actually I don't.  My mother was gang-raped and she died giving birth to me.  At least that's what the nuns at the orphanage told me."  There was a stunned silence as the guys stared at me.  Then one of them said, "Oh...I'm so sorry.  I just wanted to tell you that you're very beautiful."  I said, "Thanks, that's very nice of you."

Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Shift: 4 PM - 12 AM
Station: Lounge
There was a group of guys, and as the night went on, one of them got really drunk.  I mean shit-faced sloppy drunk.  After awhile he staggered to his feet and just as he got to the entrance, he threw up.  It was the really nasty kind: Nachos BellGrande and beer and globby spit spewed all over the floor, himself, the walls...everything...and the smell - I'd rather be locked in an outhouse.  So anyway, he hacked and retched for a really long time, like a minute straight...he got out every last chunk, then he licked his lips clean and continued walking...right into his puke, slipped, fell backwards, and cracked his head open.  His friends, who had been watching this entire sordid fiasco along with everyone else, doubled over in their chairs laughing so hard they were crying...they were dying.  The guy was moaning and writhing back and forth, so one of his friends ran up to the poor, bleeding idiot and said, "Brian...hey, dude...look at me!"  And he took a flash picture of the guy.  So now, not only was he bleeding to death in his own vomit, he was blind too.  And when security got there, every single one of his friends took off.  If it weren't for the smell and complete repulsiveness of the whole situation, and the fact that the guy was barely conscious, I would have thanked him.  That was one show worth missing American Idol for.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Shift: 7 PM - 3 AM
Station: Breaker
Here is an e-mail from my most devoted fan:

Hi Dolle

I just went through your website. Your site is really cool. Personaly, I do not go to casinos to much because they do not offer what I am looking for entertainment. I am a Gamer(play video games) not a Gambler. A number of coctail waitresses have complimented me on that. The casino games they have are in my opinion; BORING.  When I do go to the casino, The only thing I mostly do is look at the cocktail waitress in those sexy outfits. That is the only thing about the casino I like. I like looking at the cocktail waitresses. The main reason I like to look at them are the pantyhose they are wearing. The pantyhose the cocktail waitresses really make their outfit standout. My favorite are the shiny suntan pantyhose they wear. The shiny suntan pantyhose really make their legs standout when light shines on them. That will get anybodies attention.

I have a few questions that I hope you can answer for me. Are the coctail waitresses required to wear pantyhose? For me, I sometimes tip the cocktail waitress if she is wearing a nice pair of pantyhose. Sometimes I would complimet them on their pantyhose they are wearing and usually they are flattered. What shade/type of pantyhose did you and the cocktail waitresses have to wear? The pantyhose I usually see the cocktail waitresses wearing are black or suntan. And finally, do you or the cocktail waitresses ever get runs in your pantyhose? Knowing how busy you ladys are with getting drinks and dealing with customers in crouded areas might put runs in your pantyhose. Especially, if the cocktail waitress is working in the race and sportsbook area were they have to go through tight roles of people seating in chairs and people passing by.

I hope you can answer these questions for me. Your site has help me to somewhat understand what cocktail waitresses go through.Keep up the good work:-)

Monday, May 10, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots
This lady ordered a bottled water and a coffee.  When I brought it to her she put a quarter on my tray and said, "Do you have change?"  I said, "You want change for a quarter?"  She said, "Yes, I need to make a phone call."  I laughed and said, "I don't give change for pay phones."  She rolled her eyes, took the quarter off my tray, and said, "Bring me another coffee."  Oh, yeah...I'll get right on that.

Sunday, May 9, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
I was taking orders and this guy said, "I'd like a rum and Coke."  Then he turned to his wife and asked, "Honey, would you like a White Russian?"  She got up from her seat and said, "What I'd like is a fucking nice Mother's Day, like you promised!"  And she stormed off.  We both just stared after her for a second, then I said, "So...cancel the White Russian?"

Just a note to everyone who's emailed me: I'm not ignoring you, I promise I will reply as soon as I can - thanks for bearing with me!

Thursday, May 6, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots
So I'm at Target, no makeup, sweats, hair in a ponytail...basically trying not to draw attention to myself...looking skanky and acting cranky.  I just wanted to relax, be left alone, and just be part of the crowd.  So what happens?  This guy starts following me around.  Even though I was vaguely irritated, I ignored him and kept shopping for my Hello Kitty stuff (by the way, Target is Hello Kitty heaven!) and when I turned down the next aisle, guess who casually happened to be there?  Mr. Smooth.  And then he actually said to me, in what I can only guess was a seductive, whispery voice, "I love that I keep running into you...."  I just looked at him, then said, "I don't."  And I walked away thinking, you gotta be shittin' me...I love that I keep running into you?!  Vomit.  And you know what's really pathetic about this whole thing...half the guys reading this are going to try that line now...don't deny it!  Yeah, don't say I never gave you nothin'!

Wednesday, May 5, 2004
Shift: 6 PM - 2 AM
Station: Pit
I had these young guys playing roulette and they ordered every time I came around.  All of them gave me a dollar for each drink except one guy, who kept telling me he would "catch me next time."  But I kept serving him along with his friends, even though he would say that every time, and I could overhear his friends telling him to give me something.  So around the fifth round I came back with everyone's drinks except his.  He goes, "Hey, didn't I order another one too?"  I said, "Oh yeah...I'll catch you next time."  His friends started laughing, and he was so embarrassed he said, "How much do I owe you?"  I said, "Whatever you would like to donate."  He said, "Here's five bucks, and if I give you five more will you get me another drink?"  I said, "Of course, I said I'd catch you next time."

Monday. May 3, 2004
Shift: 11 AM - 7 PM
Station: Breaker
I served this old man a few rounds, he was very nice and he also gave me a dollar for every drink.  As I was walking towards him bringing him another drink, someone walked into me, knocking my tip jar onto the floor.  Surprisingly, the drinks didn't spill.  The old man and some nice customers helped me pick everything up (the person who walked into me just looked back and kept walking) and when I had gathered up all my stuff I said, "Thanks."  He said, "No problem. My wife just got here, could you get her a white wine?"  I said, "Sure."  He said, "You've been so nice, here's a dollar for my drink and another dollar for her wine."  I said, "Thanks," and started taking orders from the people sitting next to them.  And as I was standing there taking orders, I could overhear his wife saying, "She seems nice."  He laughed a little bit and whispered, "You know what I did?  When her tray got knocked over, a dollar bill fell under my feet.  That's the one I picked up and gave back to her as the tip for your drink."  And they both giggled.  I could not believe what I had just heard (I told you I have really good hearing).  Here was this very nice old couple, probably raised kids and grandkids, taught them to say, "Please," and "Thank you," probably baked cookies and cried at weddings...and here they were giggling like schoolgirls over scamming a cocktail waitress out of one dollar.  So I turned back to them and I said to the old man, "Thank you very much for picking up the dollar I dropped and giving it back to me, that was very nice of you."  Neither he nor his wife said a word or even looked at me, they both just stared straight ahead, suddenly very interested in the slot machine reels.  When I brought back the wine the old man said, "I didn't know that dollar was yours, here you go," and he tried to hand me a dollar bill.  I said, "It's on me.  It's been a pleasure serving such a nice and honest person."

Sunday, May 2, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
I was walking through my slot area when I heard someone whistle and say, "You're hot!"  So I turned around and instinctively said, "Thank you!"  But when I looked, there was no one there.  That's when I realized it was one of those slot machines with sensors on it, and it whistles and says that whenever someone walks by.  I felt really stupid, especially because this old lady sitting in the next aisle witnessed the whole thing.  She laughed and said, "I fell for that too, I was going to scold someone for being fresh."  I said, "That almost made my day."  She said, "Yes, mine too!"

June     April

Current Daily Rounds