Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 7 PM
Station: Breaks
A lady ordered a coffee and I said, "Would you like anything in that?" She
said, "No, just black with lots of cream and two Sweet'N Lows. And make it
a decaf." I just kind of stared at her. I mean, it ended up being an
entirely different drink from what she started with. So I said, "But just
to make sure...you want it black." She said, "Yes, with extra cream and
two Sweet'N Lows. Decaf." Alrighty then.
This lady was walking in front of me, pulling her little kid by the arm. He was maybe four years old, and she was scolding him about something, I don't know what, and he was trying to pull away from her. I was watching him, thinking how cute he was and feeling a bit sorry for him when he turned his head and saw me. I smiled, said, "Hi!", and did one of those stupid little mini-waves with my hand by my face...and he stuck his tongue out at me! It wasn't just an in-and-out thing either. He scrunched up his face and really gave it to me. Fucker.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Shift: 12 PM - 8 PM
Station: Pit
I don't understand when people try to walk thought the pit. It's like
people who jaywalk across the street because they don't want to walk all the way
down to the intersection to the crosswalk. People just want to get to the
other side of the casino without walking down the aisle. I saw a man, who
very chivalrously, moved the rope aside for his wife, and they both stepped into
the pit and tried to cut across. The pit boss stopped them and made them
go back out. And this was an older couple, dressed nicely, looked like
they were of sound mind and above-average intelligence. I guess I gave
them too much credit.
So, I've been joining in the discussions on Las Vegas Talk (my username is dollie) and one of the members who was coming to town to see The Go-Go's (I wish I could have gone!) is a gay guy who is one of the sweetest and coolest people on the board. I told him to come by and say hi if he got a chance, and today he did. Let me tell ya...this guy is HOT! I was expecting maybe a skinny, dorky, feminine nerd...hello! I've never wished I was a gay man more in my life (except with George Michael). He is young, tall, has a very nice body, funny and charming, loves sushi and Bo Bice, and he was wearing a cowboy hat...what more could you ask for in a man? I mean, besides being straight? You know, come to think of it, he had no gay vibes about him at all. I bet he just tells people he's gay to prevent psychos like me from stalking him. And he had this beautiful girl with him. I tried to hate her but she was too nice. They invited me to a members' meet at The Orleans on Wednesday, where they also have a cabana reserved, but I have to work. Maybe I'll call in sick. It would be worth it to see him in his Speedo!
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Shift: 9:30 AM - 3:30 PM
Station: Slot Tournament
Tonight I was watched America's Most Wanted and I saw my friend
Lee Hammond on there.
No, she's not a fugitive! She's an artist who also works for the show as a
sketch artist. I keep hoping one day to visit her on the set so I can meet
John Walsh. People have e-mailed me asking if I drew the pictures on my
"Scribbles" page, and the answer is yes. I have a lot more pictures that
I've just been too lazy to scan and put on here, and now that my printer still
doesn't work (I have a Canon Multipass F80, one of those all-in-one deals), I
guess it really will be awhile.
So, to add to my elevator rant from a couple weeks ago...it's so stupid when I'm standing there, waiting for an elevator, and someone walks up and pushes the button. I mean, do they really think I've just been standing there? Or if it takes a long time, then someone (usually that same idiot) pushes the button again, repeatedly, like twenty times in a row. Yeah, if you keep pushing the button, the elevator is going to come faster. People do that at crosswalks too. Idiots.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
Cops love to do these undercover stings at the busiest times, like right now
with Memorial Day weekend coming up. They send in underage people who look
old enough to drink, then have them order drinks from bartenders and cocktail
waitresses. If they don't get carded and are served, they suspend the
employee on the spot. Two of our bartenders got caught last night and are
on suspension. I card people a lot, but now I'm gonna be carding everyone,
including grandmas and grandpas. So don't give me your attitude, blame it
on the cops.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Pit
As I was walking out of the bathroom, I passed a couple women walking in.
At first glance, I thought they were men, which made me do a double-take.
But they were just dykes, the really masculine-looking kind. As I walked
by the second one, she checked me out from head to toe, and she said, "Ooohh,
mmmm-mmmm," under her breath, just like a really nasty guy would! I swear
I got the heebie-jeebies. Serious. I ran back to the bar and told
all the other waitresses, who were all just as grossed out as I was.
Another cocktail waitress said, "Oh, I just served those two, and one of them
said to me, 'I just love your freckles, especially how they go into your
cleavage.'" We all went, "EEEEEWWWWW!" at the same time. That is
just not right.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
Some customers came up to the bar and ordered a bunch of drinks, then told the
bartender they wanted to charge it to their room. The bartender couldn't
find the room number on the computer, so he asked the customer to make sure it
was the right number. The customer pulled his room ticket out of his
wallet and showed it to the bartender, who said, "This is for the hotel across
the street." The customer said, "Yes, that's where we're staying."
The bartender said, "You can only charge drinks when you're in the hotel you're
staying at." The customer said, "But it's right across the street."
The bartender, thinking this guy is an idiot, said, "So?" The customer,
still baffled, said again, "It's right over there." And he pointed, as if
that would clear things up, as if the bartender didn't know where it was, as if
he would slap himself on the forehead and go, "Oh, it's right over there!
Well, that's all right then!" The bartender said, "You have to pay for
these drinks some other way, with cash or a credit card." The customer
looked at the other people he was with, because he just didn't get it, and they
all started discussing among themselves how it was stupid that they couldn't
charge the drinks to their room across the street. Finally one of his
friends came over, threw down some bills, and said, "Here, this is bullshit, but
here's your damn money. We were told we could charge everything to the
room, and now you tell us we can't. You people need to get your stories
straight. Give me my change."
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Shift: 12 PM - 8 PM
Station: Pit
I was walking by the main casino cage cashier where there was a line of people.
This really drunk guy went up to the counter where the cashier was helping a
customer and said to the cashier, "Hello! Hel-LOOO!!! Uh, I mean,
excuse me." The customer moved away from the guy and the cashier said,
"Sir, I'm helping someone right now." He said, "Hey, where am I?" He
was turning full circles, looking up at the ceiling, as if he'd find the answer
up there. Other people were laughing, and so was I, but I was also afraid
he'd puke if he kept spinning. He stopped, looked at the cashier again and
said, "Can you help me? Am I at the right place?" She said, "I don't
know, but you can ask the security guards for assistance." She pointed to
the security booth, and the guy said, "Oh, hey thanks," stumbled off in the
complete opposite direction.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Dice
So here's how my day went. For some reason we were talking about
cockroaches in the bar, I think we were talking about Fear Factor or
something. Anyway, I was still thinking about it when I walked out to take
orders and, as I approached some customers, instead of, "Cocktails?" I said,
"Cockroach?" This lady said, "Oh my god...where?!" I said, "I'm
sorry, I meant 'cocktails.' I don't know why I said that." She said,
"Oh, you scared me. I hate cockroaches! I thought you saw one."
Then this other customer pointed at the floor and said, "Well, there's a dead
one. Looks like you stepped on him." I looked down, and I swear to
god, there was a brown, squished cockroach with its legs all sticking up and
guts smeared all over. I looked at the bottom of my shoe, and sure enough,
there was the rest of its legs and guts. I was like, "Oh...that is so
gross!" Needless to say, they didn't order a drink. Later on, I
walked smack! into a wall. I didn't have any drinks on my tray, but
my pen, writing pad, and tip jar went down. Not to mention the tray jabbed
me hard in the ribs. I mean, that hurt like a mother! I felt like
such an idiot because some customers saw me, but they just turned back to their
game. No one helped me, but at least no one made fun of me either.
Then, on my last round, as I was whining and limping to my station delivering
drinks, someone walking in front of me cut such a smelly one that I almost
cried. And I couldn't escape it because I had to continue taking that
path, and I was holding my tray with both hands because it was full of drinks so
I couldn't use one hand to fan it away, and I didn't know who to blame it on
since there were so many people in front of me. Not that I could even take
a breath to have the strength to yell, "All right! Who dropped the
nucleoid stink bomb!" And I wanted to turn to the people behind me and say, "I
swear it's not me." But I had too much momentum going, and to stop and
turn around would be risking a major collision with everyone. It was a
hopeless situation. When I finally broke free from the crowd and started
delivering my drinks, the first lady I came to handed me a dollar and said,
"Seventy-five cents." I said, "You want a quarter back?" She said,
"No, I want seventy-five cents back, you can keep a quarter." It was as if
I was suspended in time as I processed this information, one hand still holding
the dollar bill, the other one desperately trying to balance my still-full tray
of drinks. I said, "Why don't you hold on to this, and after I bring you
three more drinks you can give it to me." She thought about it, then said,
"OK, that sounds great." Yeah, that sounds great. Then on my way
home in the car, I was waiting at a stoplight when this bum working the corner,
who comes into the casino all the time, recognized me and waved at me. I
tried to ignore him but he walked right up to my window and was talking to me,
saying hi, smiling and waving. All the other drivers were looking,
wondering what was going on. I just covered my face and looked away,
thinking, "Why me?!"
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots
One of the pregnant cocktail waitresses said she was taking orders in her
station when she full on burped at this lady. She was so embarrassed that
she just ran off in the middle of the lady's order. Later on in the night,
after she had recovered, she approached a group of these really cute young guys
at the roulette wheel. She had already served them a round, so she smiled
and said to one of them, "Would you like another Jack and Coke - BUUURRRP!!!"
Since this was after her lunch break, not only was it loud, it was smelly and
some food popped out of her mouth, which she had to wipe off. She was
horrified, but frozen with embarrassment. The guys all pretended to be
busy placing their bets, and the one guy said, "Oh, no...that's all right.
I think I'm done. Thanks." The other guys were all like, "No, we're
fine, we don't need anything else." When she came into the bar and told us
what happened, we were dying. Those poor guys, they were so grossed out,
but so polite.
I added another page to the Q and A section.
And I finally made a page of some of Joshua's most recent pictures on My Yummys.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
If yesterday sucked, today was like the rainbow after a really shitty rainstorm.
Almost every customer was nice and tipped well. I was in the same exact
slot area, so there was no logical explanation for this. Of course this
would be the day that I feel sick, so I took an EO. I'm fine, I just feel
like I have a cold coming on. Anyway, I went home and my mom and I took
the baby to Target and spent $200.00. It would have been more, but my mom
forgot to put baby formula in the diaper bag, so we had to cut the trip short -
thank god!
Monday, May 16, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
Oh my god, today was Penny Lane. I had never gotten so many pennies and
nickels in my life. This Mexican girl ordered a Corona for herself and two
bottled waters, one each for her mother and father. When I brought their
drinks, she gave me 45¢, a quarter for the Corona, and a dime for each of the
waters. Then these three old fogies ordered a Colorado Bulldog and two
vodka gimlets. As I set down their drinks, two of them ignored me and kept
playing, the one old lady in the middle got her purse and started looking in her
wallet. I saw her thumb through some bills, so I stood and waited.
But what's this...she thumbed right through those and started digging for
pennies! I kid you not. Right past the quarters, nickels, and dimes.
And as she was doing this she was saying, "Oh, wait...I need to get rid of some
change...you don't mind, do you?" I said, "No, not at all. But these
aren't penny machines." Then this guy put a handful of nickels and pennies
on my tray after I served him and his wife a scotch and water and a margarita.
But he had set them on my writing pad, so some of the coins fell off my tray.
I was already busy serving the customers next to them, and he was saying, "Miss,
miss...you're dropping the coins. Miss...excuse me!" I said, "It's
all right." Like I was gonna go down for pennies and nickels!
Especially with a full tray, risking that I would drop everything. So I
kept serving other customers. But I could see him out of the corner of my
eye, picking up the coins, and putting them back in his pocket. I tell
you, it was so bad that I served this black bum that comes in all the time.
At least I made fifty cents from him. Plus he smelled so bad he scared
away the customers. It was like that all over the casino. The girl
working the high limit room got a Canadian nickel. I said, "Hey, maybe if
they win they'll give you an American nickel." Another girl was tipped
with a 15¢ payout ticket. (A lot of slot machines pay out in tickets
instead of coins.) There's a new policy at our casino that if we find any
tickets we have to turn them in to security. So we called security and
told them we found the ticket, and if no one claims it in thirty days we want
our 15¢. I swear, every time a cocktail waitress walked into the bar, as
soon as she walked in, it was, "These people suck!" "God, I hate people!"
"I'm taking a smoke break." "They can kiss my ass!" "These assholes
can die of thirst, I'm not going back out there."
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Shift: 12 PM - 8 PM
Station: Pit
They call this "elevator etiquette," I call it "elevator common sense."
When you are waiting for an elevator, don't stand directly in front of it,
because when it opens, there may be people who need to get out. It's not
only polite, but common sense to let these people get out before you go in.
When you are in the elevator with other people behind you, if the elevator stops
on a floor that is not the one you need, don't just stand there blocking the
door, look around and see if you need to move out of someone's way. If you
are alone in the elevator, or if there is room, move to the side so that if the
elevator stops on a floor to let someone in, you aren't blocking the door.
And finally, if you must let one rip, do it when I'm not there.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Shift: 12 PM - 8 PM
Station: Pit
A couple of our friends were staying at Wynn Las Vegas and they invited us to
hang out and play blackjack on Thursday night.
The casino is absolutely beautiful. The garden area isn't as impressive as Bellagio's (no one can beat that) but they did have huge flower balls hanging off the trees. The aisles between the slot machines are nice and wide. The cocktail waitresses were all young and beautiful, and their uniforms are super sexy. My friends stayed in a Parlor Suite, which was on the 16th floor and had an awesome view. You could see the entire city, and all eighteen pools around the casino. I don't know how many pools Wynn has, but there were a lot. And the room had three flat-screen plasma TV's...even one in the bathroom! I guess that made sense, since the bathroom was as big as my living room.
Almost every single table was packed, but we finally found a $15.00 minimum table. Believe it or not, it was the first time in my life that I have ever played blackjack, but our friends were pros and they told me exactly how to play each hand. Anyway, the two guys already playing were really fun, and the guy sitting next to me said, "I've been sitting here playing and drinking for over 24 hours. They actually cut me off, but I sat here so long afterwards and sobered up that they let me start drinking again. And I agree, I needed to be cut off because I was really drunk. But the thing is, they let me keep gambling. Isn't that amazing?" Now, he raised a good point, and I don't want to get anyone in trouble but, legally, a casino is not allowed to let an intoxicated person continue to gamble. It happens all the time, but it is against the law. I didn't tell him that because we were all having fun, and I didn't want to be the serious know-it-all at the table. Hell, what did I care? He wasn't cut off anymore, and we were all having a blast despite losing our asses. When he left, another nice guy sat down, and I was very happy to see that when he ordered from the cocktail waitress he took a dollar out of his pocket and had it waiting for her, all of his own accord. Bravo.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Slots
This old bum, who always comes in and never plays, sat right outside one of the
service bars and tried to get a drink from every waitress that walked by.
I ignored him as I walked into the bar, and I told one of the waitresses that
her boyfriend was waiting for her outside. She got all excited and went
out, only to see the old guy and she got stuck listening to him for a few
minutes as he told his same old sob story about how he lost five hundred dollars
and he couldn't even get a drink. We were all laughing when she came back
in the bar. I peeked out to see if he was still sitting there, and I saw
him pick his ear with his pinky, look at it, then flick whatever was stuck there
onto the floor. He looked at his pinky nail again, this time really
inspecting it. He must have had a fetish for clean fingernails, because he
then stuck his pinky in his mouth, and scraped off whatever was left on the nail
with his teeth, chewed and swallowed, and wiped off his finger on his pants.
Well, no wonder he needed a drink...but what would go well with ear jam?
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
This young girl ordered a Cosmopolitan, and when I came back around she said,
"This is too strong. I think I'll just have a Southern Comfort." I
said, "The Cosmo is too strong, so now you want a shot of Southern Comfort?"
She said, "Yes, but with a little ice." I said, "You don't want it with
Coke or water or anything?" She said, "No." I walked away thinking,
what an idiot. And sure enough, when I brought it to her, the next time I
came around she said, "Can you bring me a water? I can't drink that by
itself." Like I said....
Monday, May 9, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
I was talking to another cocktail waitress when a man and woman walked up.
They stopped next to me, but looked at her and said, "Excuse me." I looked
at them, smiled, and said, "Hi." They totally ignored me, didn't even look
at me, and said to her, "Can you tell us where the restroom is?" Now, the
cocktail waitress is blond and looks like an All-American girl, but she's really
European with a very heavy accent. So she told them, but they didn't
understand her, so they kept saying, "What? Where is it?", and she kept
trying to tell them. I was standing in between them, turning my head back
and forth, like watching a tennis match. The more frustrated they got, the
more frustrated she got, the more I wanted to laugh. Finally, the couple
looked at me and said, "Can you tell us where the restroom is?" I said,
"So solly, no speaka Engrish." I turned to the waitress and said, "I'll
talk to you later," and walked off.
Sunday, May 8, 2005
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: 9 AM - 5 PM
I asked this guy if he wanted a drink. He leaned back in his chair, took
his cigar out of his mouth, almost stared me down as he said, "I'd like a shot
of Glenlivet, straight up, no ice, nothing in it, don't contaminate it." I
nodded my head as I very seriously took down his dictation. When I came
back I handed him the glass and said, "A shot of Glenlivet, straight up, no ice,
nothing in it, I stuck only one finger in it, but it wasn't mine, and it was
clean." He looked at me, then started laughing. He gave me five
dollars and said, "Well, if it was your finger, I wouldn't care if it was clean
or not."
Thursday, May 5, 2005
Shift: 12 PM - 8 PM
Station: Pit
As I was walking by the slots, I noticed a group of girls sitting at the
machines, and one in particular because she was gorgeous; blonde with a perfect
body, and dressed really nice in a cute top and miniskirt. I walked by a
few times, and they were just talking and laughing, having a good time, and
every guy who walked by turned back to look at her. Then, as I was walking
towards her again, she was just sitting there when she suddenly heaved and threw
up, all over the slot machine and on herself. The next second, she slumped
forward, onto the puke, then fell on the floor, passed out. I was like, oh
my god! This happened in the middle of the casino, where all the foot
traffic goes through, and it was busy with tons of people walking by.
Everyone looked, but kept walking. Some of her friends were looking at her
going, "Oh my god, gross!" One girl's cell phone rang, and she answered
it, and obviously didn't mention to the caller what happened because she had a
long conversation while smoking her cigarette, then hung up and went back to her
video poker. Meanwhile, the hot chick just lay there, not looking or
smelling so hot with puke all over her. She was quite a disgusting mess.
Eventually security showed up, but not thanks to her so-called friends.
Wednesday, May 4, 2005
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Slots
This guy at a slot machine motioned me over. He said, "All these machines
are broken, see?" And he showed me as he put a coin in three consecutive
machines, and they all dropped back out into the trays. He was very
frustrated, taking it out on me, "I don't understand how none of these machines
work, or maybe it's the coins. I got these nickels at your casino, are you
giving out counterfeit nickels? Is that how you people make your money?"
I said, "Counterfeit nickels?" He said, "Yes! Look!" And he
began stuffing nickels in, almost in a frenzy, and they kept dropping out.
I said, "I'm pretty sure the nickels are real. They don't work because
these are five dollar machines." I pointed at the huge "$5" on the front
of the machine. He stopped and I could see the exact moment the
realization hit him. His face turned fire-engine red, his demeanor changed
immediately, and he apologized, "Oh, I am so sorry. I feel like such an
idiot. Please, I didn't mean to yell at you. Here." And he
pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket and started to give me some money.
I said, "No, don't worry about it. It happens all the time (it does)."
He said, "No, really. I feel really bad, accusing you. Counterfeit
nickels - what was I thinking?! I'm not an asshole, I don't know why I
acted like that." And he tried to give me a twenty-dollar bill. I
said, "Don't be ridiculous. You want a water or something?" He said,
"That would be great. I'll wait here." I said, "OK, I'll be right
back." Poor guy.
Tuesday, May 3, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
When I was going through the nickel section taking orders, these two fat-ass
ladies said, "Oh, thank god. We were just saying how we haven't seen the
cocktail waitress." I rolled my eyes and said, "Would you ladies like
another margarita and Kahlua and cream?" They said, "Yes...how did you
know?" I said, "Because I just brought you those a few minutes ago.
You're not even done with your drinks yet." Stupid liars. And I was
actually giving them better service, by accident, because they kept
machine-hopping, and somehow they ended up going to wherever I would be taking
orders. But they were so dumb they didn't remember that I was the same one
who kept serving them. K i s s m y a s s ! ! !
Sunday, May 1, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 7 PM
Station: Breaker
I added some more to my Q
and A page. I was going to start another page, but I'm too lazy, so I
just added the new e-mails at the top.