Thursday, June 16, 2005
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Pit
A smelly-ass bum found some money and, instead of buying some breath mints, he decided to gamble.  Hey, that's great; it's the American way.  But I wish he would've done it somewhere else, because he scared all my good customers away.  He lost after a couple of hands and left.  Then I got in a fight with these two black girls because I carded one of them.  She said, "You need to see my I.D. for a Cherry Coke?"  I said, "Yes, even if you didn't order a drink I need to see your I.D. because you can't be standing here if you're not twenty-one or older."  Then the other girl got all ghetto, her head moving side to side so hard I thought it would fall off (which would have made me happy), waving her finger at me, and said, "You already checked her I.D."  I said, "No, I haven't."  She said, "Well, make sure you bring me a double Martel."  I said, "I'm sorry, we don't serve doubles."  She said, "What?  I've been getting them all morning."  I said, "In that case, you're lucky I'm going to bring you even one shot, because you should be cut off."  She started having a fit, so I told the pit boss, who told her that she could only have one shot.  So she moved to another pit and ordered from that cocktail waitress.  Since I had already went in the bar and told everyone about her, the cocktail waitress told her, "You've been cut off."  The black girl rolled her eyes, gave one of those exasperated sighs, and gave the cocktail waitress the "talk to the hand" gesture.  I wish that pee guy's chair from the other day was still wet.  I would've sent her there, telling her it was a lucky machine.  And where was my pal,  the smelly bum?  I would've paid him to follow her around.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Shift: 12 PM - 8 PM
Station: Pit
Around 2 PM this guy playing the nickel slots told a supervisor that he had been waiting since 8:30 AM for two bottled waters, and that he was dying of thirst.  Are you kidding me?!  First of all, that's just fucking stupid.  If you're gonna lie, make it believable.  Second, he waited 5 1/2 hours to complain?  That's even more stupid.  Third, if he was really dying of thirst he would have walked up to a bar and bought a water, or bought one from the gift shop.  So the real story is, "I want a free drink because I'm too damn cheap to pay for it, which is fine, but I don't want to admit it, so I'll just complain and lie because that will get me better service, but I'm too fucking stupid to think of a plausible lie, so I'll just tell them I've been waiting for 5 1/2 hours so they'll be outraged that the cocktail waitress neglected me for that long and immediately kiss my ass and serve me because, dammit, I'm a nickel slot player."

Friday, June 10, 2005
Shift: 8 PM - 4 AM
Station: Pit
This guy playing blackjack ordered a drink.  His girlfriend was standing next to him with her back toward me, so I asked her if she wanted a drink.  She completely ignored me.  I asked her again, and again she ignored me.  (I always wait for people to acknowledge me because it never fails, when I come back with the order, the person who didn't respond will say, "I didn't hear you before, can I get a drink now?" or "Oh, you're here, I've been looking for you.")  So the boyfriend said to her, "Honey, do you want anything?"  She slowly turned her head to me, looked me up and down, then turned to him and said, "No."  And it was the bitchiest "no" I've ever heard in my life, like, "I'd rather be skinned alive and be dipped in gasoline and set on fire."  The guy smiled at me and said, "No, she's fine."  When I came back with his drink he said to her, "Honey," motioning for her to move aside so I could hand him the drink.  She stayed still for a few seconds, then finally she sighed, then moved like a quarter of an inch.  He had to worm his arm between them and carefully take the drink.  She immediately moved back, and I could tell that he got a dollar token and wanted to tip me, and I heard him telling her that he needed to give me the tip.  She ignored him and just stayed there.  So he held the token over his other shoulder and turned his head that way and said, "Thank you very much."  I said, "Thank you."  Man, what a royal bitch!  But he must have been used to it, because he was cool and pleasant throughout that whole thing, not letting her ruin his vacation.  Good for him.

Wednesday, June 8, 2005
Shift: 6 PM - 2 AM
Station: High Limit
Boy was it a slow night!  I had this high roller who comes in all the time, and he's a real grouch.  He only likes certain cocktail waitresses, which does not include me, so he just grunted at me all night.  His favorite cocktail waitress was working in another area, so I told her to serve him since he's such an asshole to everyone else and we split the tip.  It really is smarter to do it that way because it made him happy to have the girl he wanted, I made money that I wouldn't have made because he wouldn't have ordered from me, and she made money that she wouldn't have made because he wasn't in her section.  Some girls are really territorial and will raise hell if another girl serves someone in her station, which is why customers shouldn't move around after they order a drink.  Or if you do, you should look out for the waitress you ordered from and go back to where you were to get the drink.  Anyway, I picked up a part of another station because that girl went home, and let me tell ya...I was sure happy I did that, especially after I got a shiny, gold zoo token.  And not just any zoo...it was the Oklahoma City Zoo.  Oh yeah, that's hot.

Tuesday, June 7, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 7 PM
Station: Slots
OK, this is totally disgusting.  There were two guys and a girl being really loud and obnoxious playing the slot machines.  Eventually security came over to kick them out.  When one of the guys stood up, his pants were soaked because he had pissed all over his seat, the floor, everything.  And he had been sitting in it the whole time!  So security kicked them all out.  Well, what makes it even more gross is, instead of throwing away the chair, they had a porter clean it off.  I don't care how many times he disinfected it, there is no way he could have gotten it all off.  I mean, I know seats are full of microscopic disgusting things anyway, but this guy was swimming in his pee, so I'm sure it got completely soaked.  And then...about half an hour after he got kicked out, we saw him in another part of the casino, machine hopping.  So he was sitting his pee-stained ass all over the place.  We called security again, and they got him.  But this time no one cleaned off the seats.  Something to think about next time you wear a miniskirt and go commando...you may be sitting your goods in someone else's bads.

Wednesday, June 1, 2005
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots
The casino porter was cleaning the area by one of the entrances and there were those orange cones on the floor.  Some guys walked in and one of them ran up to a cone and put it on his head.  The other guys put cones on their heads too, and they all just ran around, yelling and laughing.  Then a couple of them started smacking the cones against each other while still wearing them on their heads, like sword-fighting, and of course the other guys joined in.  It was quite funny, these idiots running around, knocking their heads together, saying stupid things like, "I am a Jedi," and, "Don't kill me, daddy."  Then the casino manager happened to walk by.  He said, "Hey!  Put those down!"  The guys stopped and just looked at him.  He said, "Put down the cones and leave.  Now."  The guys looked so dejected as they took the cones off of their heads.  One of them said, "We were just playing."  He just pointed at the doors and said, "Go."  The poor guys turned and walked out like whipped puppies.  I said to the casino manager, "Awww, they were so entertaining.  Come on, let 'em back in.  You can hire them to be the new lounge act."  He said, "Yeah, right.  Idiots."

I've updated the Q and A page, and also the Industry Q and A at the bottom.

And I (finally!) added an update to my Diversions page.

Daily Rounds Archive

May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
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January 2004