Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
I was dropping off drinks when I heard someone say, "Excuse me,
cocktails!" behind me. I turned around and this guy said, "Here, you
dropped this," and he handed me a twenty dollar bill. I was like,
"Oh, man, thanks so much, that is really nice." I still had drinks
to deliver but I said, "Can I get you anything...a drink, Krispy Kreme
doughnuts...my autograph?" He laughed and said, "No, thanks. I
was just walking by, have a good day." Wow, how cool was that?
Monday, January 26, 2004
Shift: 11 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
So this white guy, probably in his 40's, asked what kind of scotch we had.
I said, "Dewar's, Cutty, J&B, Chivas, Black Label...pretty much whatever
you want." He looked at me strangely and said, "I'll have a Chivas."
I said, "Would you like that straight up or on the rocks?" He
continued to stare in that weird way, then said, "On the rocks."
When I got back to the bar I asked the girls to see if anything was
between my teeth or in my nose, but I got the "all clear." When I
brought the guy his drink I said, "Here's your Chivas." He said,
"Thank you," and started to get his wallet out of his pocket, still
staring at me. Finally he said, "Where are you from?" I said,
"L.A. Where are you from?" He said, "San Diego." I said,
"It's beautiful there." He handed me a dollar and said, "You speak
perfect English." I said, "Thank you, so do you." He said, "I
meant that as a compliment." I said, "I know, so did I." I didn't know there were cave dwellers in San Diego.
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Shift: 12 PM - 8 PM
Station: Pit
I was taking orders at the pit when I noticed this guy standing really
close behind the seated customers, smiling at me. I didn't think
much of it because people are always crowded in and I have ask them to
move so I can get to the players to take their orders. Well, as I
was approaching the table the guy was standing next to, he said, "Am I
your favorite customer?" I was like, "Um, yeah, of course," while
thinking, "What the hell...?" He was encouraged by my response
because he leaned close and whispered in what I guess was a sexy voice,
"Are you Shortstack from Philly?" I said, "No, I'm
Flapjack from Oklahoma."
Embarrassed, he immediately straightened up and said, "Oh, sorry, I have
the wrong person," and took off. Note to Shortstack from
Philly: You shoulda demanded a picture first - tell him you're from
Oklahoma.
Friday, January 23, 2004
Shift: 12 PM - 8 PM
Station: Pit
As soon as I walked in the bar my bartender said, "Here, I got this for
you." He handed me a beautiful red rose still wrapped in the plastic
with all the pretty leaves and baby's breath. Suspicious, I asked,
"Why?" and took a closer look and saw a beer bottle cap stuck in there.
"Ewww!" I said, "Did you dig this out of the trash?!" He and the
stupid barback were laughing so hard they couldn't even talk. Boy, I
tell ya, what a couple of retards.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots
This lady asked me if we had anything without caffeine. I said,
"Water." She said, "Well, do you have Diet Coke or something?"
I said, "Diet Coke has caffeine, we have Sierra Mist, which is like 7 UP,
and it doesn't have caffeine." She said, "No, I want a diet."
I was like, "Uh, OK." So I brought her drink and said, "Here's your
diet," and started to hand it to her. She took one look at it and
literally pushed the drink back at me and said, "That's not diet." I
looked down at the drink and said, "How can you tell?" She said,
"The other cocktail waitress told me that Diet Cokes have one straw and
regular Cokes have two straws, and that has two straws." I looked at
her for a second, then said, "Oh, that's right." I took out one
straw, threw it over my shoulder, and said, "Here's your Diet Coke."
She said, "Thank you." That was the hardest fifty cents I've ever
worked for.
Monday, January 19, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots/Keno/Sports Book
I have this humongous zit right below my nose on my upper lip. It's
the really disgusting-looking kind, and I would pop it except that just
touching it makes me want to cry in agony. So what I've been doing
is when someone asks me a question, I put my finger over it, like I'm
thinking really hard, and go, "Hmmm..." before I answer. That way
people think I'm really interested in answering their questions, and it
makes me look smarter too. Either that or they think I'm sticking my
finger up my nose. Hmmm...
Saturday, January 17, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots/Pit
Our coffee mugs are really just glasses with a protective black band, so
when I brought a lady her coffee with cream, she screamed at me, "Where's
the cream! Where's the cream!" I mean, she was out of control.
I guess when you first glance at the mug you might be fooled because it's
black, but when you're looking down into the glass, you can surely
see the coffee, and that it's a cream color. (Don't call me
Shirley.) And that's what she was doing, looking down into the glass
screaming. I laughed, which I think pissed her off even more, and
just walked off.
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1AM
Station: Slots
This lady asked me if we had Coke or Pepsi products, I said Pepsi.
She grabbed her friend's hands and said, "Oh my God, I can't believe they
have Pepsi!" and I swear she was jumping up and down in her seat.
Then she said to me, "I'll have a vodka and orange juice." I was
like, "Um...you don't want a Pepsi then?" She said, "No, I don't
think so." I have no idea what that was all about.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots/Keno/Sports Book
This guy told me that around 4 AM "a colored gal" sat down next to him and
asked if he wanted a massage, she would only charge him fifty dollars.
He had just won a $5000.00 jackpot and he was feeling good, so he agreed
and they went up to his room, he made sure his money was locked in his
safe, then he went to the bathroom. When he came out, she was gone,
the money was gone, and he never even got his massage. I said, "I
know a couple of guys named Silk and Spider you might want to talk to..."
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots/High Limit Slots/High Limit Pit
About an hour after I got to work somebody puked right at the entrance of
our service bar. One of the porters put chairs around it so nobody
would step in it, but until it got cleaned up we all had to smell it and
look at it each time we walked in or out. Gross. Some guy told
me that he was "drunk because I had to waste my time in Vegas at the AVN
(Adult Video News) all day and it bored me to death since I look at tits
and ass for a living, you know what I mean? Hey...come back
here...damn, you're hot!" An Oriental man kept ordering peanuts
from me every time I walked by, and I met a couple of pimps named Silk and
Spider whose wardrobe came from The Cat in the Hat.
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots/Pit
I was taking orders when a couple guys sat down at the slot machines
further down the row and said, "Can we get
some drinks?" I said, "Yeah, hold on second," and continued taking
orders. When I got to them I said, "What can I
get for you guys?" They looked at each other as if I stumped
them, so I said, "You called me over here because you couldn't wait
to get a drink, and you
don't know what you want?" The first guy said, "Um, what do you
have?" I said, "What do you want?" He said, "Uh...Heineken."
So I said to the other guy, "What can I get for you?" He looked at
the first guy and said, "What did you get?" Trying not to grit my
teeth, I said, "He wants a Heineken." Continuing with the clueless
interrogation, he said, "How much are the drinks?" (this is the hands down
question that sets off sirens and flashes in red neon: Stiff Alert!
Stiff Alert!) So I said, smiling sweetly, "It's however much
you'd like to give since the drinks are complimentary." This
really made him happy, so he said, "Oh, that's great! I'll have the
same." I walked away and was like, "Yeah, great."
Friday, January 9, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
I felt kind of sick so when I got to work I asked if I could take a
no-time if there were no call-offs for graveyard. All the girls were there and it was pretty slow,
so it wasn't a problem. These chicks are pretty cool, man!
When I got home I was coughing up a lung so my boyfriend gave me this
medicine that he had been taking called
Buckley's Cough & Cold...have you guys ever heard of it? Well, let
me tell ya, it tasted like shit, not that I would know what that tastes
like. Maybe some of you would like it. Me, just the thought
of swallowing that again cured my cough.