Joshua's wondering, "Who is this guy, and why is his finger so big?"
Sunday, January 30, 2005
I just saw La Femme at the MGM. Besides the fact that someone
around me smelled really ripe, and the guy behind me kept coughing in my hair,
it was a pretty good show. Not great, but good. It took me awhile to
figure out that they did each act according to the zodiac, so you had an Aries
girl(s), Taurus girl(s), etc. It was hard to understand because the
pre-recorded announcer who introduced each act had a really heavy French accent,
which makes sense since it's a French show. The girls were all beautiful
and had perfect bodies, and they could really dance. I mean, they weren't
just jiggling around, they were really excellent dancers. The best part of
the show was the lighting. It reminded me of the beginning credits in a
James Bond movie, how there are all these sexy girls dancing with the special
lighting effect on them. But the transitions between acts weren't smooth,
music would just suddenly stop playing, then another song would start. And
there were a couple cheesy filler acts. One was a card magician, who was
actually really good, but somehow his flamenco dance and exaggerated moves came
off as a bit too gay for me. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
(Seinfeld line.) And there was a Michael Jackson/Bubbles slapstick
routine. Now, I hate slapstick (which is why I hate clowns and can take
only so much of Jim Carrey), and the fact that everyone around me was laughing
so hard they were falling out of their chairs irritated me even more. I
know I can't be the only one who feels this way, yet I'm always surrounded by
people who love it! Man, that's annoying. Anyway, I think it's worth
the money (tickets are $59.00) even though I didn't pay for it. But I
would rather have seen Tom Jones!
Thursday, January 27, 2005
So everyone's been e-mailing me, asking if I know the cocktail waitress who was
on American Idol last night, and the answer is no, I don't. And I
don't know the girl who is a Siren from the Sirens of TI. Sorry guys, I
can't help ya! Damn, even Simon wanted to hook up with them. He
passed the first one through because she said all her Siren friends would be
visiting her if she goes to Hollywood, and he was so flustered with the cocktail
waitress that he couldn't even speak. And where was my buddy, Ben?
Maybe he made it through without his audition being shown. Or maybe he
wasn't even noticed after those two hot chicks.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
I'm in heaven...American Idol has finally started again! I felt so
bad for the guy who started crying when he forgot the words to the song he was
singing. I mean, he sucked, so he wouldn't have made it, but it was so sad
that even Simon couldn't insult him. And the dancing janitor who had to
beg for money so he could get a ride home; some poor guy dropped his beer and
broke the bottle while trying to give him change. What a maroon. And
how about the church girl who cussed out Simon because he said that God didn't
want her to be on American Idol. Man, they bleeped her so many
times I thought I was watching Sopranos. And that psycho chick at
the end who heard more voices than Sybil. Sugar Ray was dogging her until
she said that one of the voices was telling her that he's a hottie. I
can't wait for tomorrow's show!
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
I have a baby! Joshua Joseph Hamilton was born on December 22, 2004.
He was 6 lb .1 oz, 18 in. - he was so little!
Joshua's wondering, "Who is this guy, and why is his finger so
big?"
Pucker up!
Christmas Day...the best present ever!
More chins than a Chinese phone book.
First bath - he's lovin' it!
Here's what happened. I had a routine doctor's appointment on December 22, but there was protein in my urine and my blood pressure was really high, so I was sent to the hospital. They decided that I had to have an emergency C-section. That was the scariest experience of my life. They gave me a spinal block, which is the most painful shot ever, given in my back. It was really weird, to be paralyzed like that. I couldn't feel anything, and it was hard to breathe; it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. They laid me out "like Jesus" (my boyfriend's description) and put up a sheet so I couldn't see the gory details. There were six doctors and nurses, including the anesthesiologist, who kept assuring me that I was breathing and still alive even though I kept telling him I was sure I was dying. I could hear the doctor, who was working on me, talking to the nurse about what she did yesterday and laughing about some incident that happened, and I was thinking, "Hel-lo...I'm having a baby here!" My boyfriend sat next to me, holding my hand and trying to not show how grossed out he was by what he saw. I had no idea what was going on, but he told me later that after they cut me, they inserted a metal bar to keep the incision open. Everything happened really fast; the doctor practically jumped up and down on my stomach, making my body flop around like a rag doll, and they reached inside to get the baby out. I could hear them stapling my stomach shut with one of those staple guns. It was no delicate surgery. They let me touch his foot, but I wasn't allowed to hold him right away because he had to be brought to the nursery for a few hours for observation. I guess that's routine for a C-section. I still had high blood pressure so I was put on an I.V. for a couple of days, very drugged out. I had to stay in the hospital for four days, including Christmas, but that was all right. I was in no mood to go anywhere, and I had my baby! A week after the C-section they took out the staples but my incision opened up, so I had to have it cleaned out twice a day and packed with gauze...that was really disgusting. It's almost completely closed up now, but I'm still in pain. But, as they say, it's all been worth it. Oh, and for everyone who's e-mailed me to tell me to delete my statement "I don't want kids" (on my Who Am I? page) before Joshua's old enough to read it and need years of therapy...all right already! It's done. Thanks to everyone who's written, I'll be answering your e-mails soon.