Saturday, February 28, 2004
Shift: 8 PM - 4 AM
Station: Pit
Some guy was talking on his cell phone sitting at a slot machine.
When I walked by he said, "Hey! Can I get a drink?" I said, "I
can take your order and have your waitress bring it to you, but you have
to be playing." He said, "Quit fucking around and get me a beer."
I said, "Oh yeah, since you're so nice I'll get you that beer myself."
Needless to say, I didn't get him a beer. When I walked by him again
he said, "Hey, where's my beer?" I said, "Just wait right there,
I'll be right back with it." I walked by him again he was still
talking on the phone, still not gambling. When he saw that I didn't
have his beer he said, into his phone, "I hate these fucking waitresses."
And he got up and left. Yeah, people should have more kids...really.
Friday, February 27, 2004
Shift: 7 PM - 3 AM
Station: Dice/Pit
I had a tray full of drinks and as I was dropping them off at one of my
tables this really drunk man came up to me and said, "Excuse me." I
looked at him, hoping he would make it quick because my arm was killing
me. He said, again, "Excuse me." I said, "Yes?" He
looked around, wobbled, and said, "Tall..." and he put one arm up high to
show me what tall meant, then he said, "Puerto Rican..." and he waved both
arms wildly, which I guess meant Puerto Rican in sign language. He
started to say something else but I had enough, it was like watching a bad
American Idol audition. I said, "He's waiting for you at the
bus stop." Then later in the night as I was walking with another
tray full of drinks, some lady walked towards me with both hands out
towards me, like a policeman at an intersection telling me to stop (what
was with the arm gestures tonight?) I mean, I thought she was going
to shove her hand right into my face. She said, "Excuse me!" I
said, "Where's your whistle?" She said, "What?" I said, "I
thought you were directing traffic. How can I help you?" She
said, "Well, I thought you were trying to rush by me, you were in such a
hurry." I said, "Yes, I am. It's very busy and I'm trying to
get these drinks to my customers as fast as I can." She looked at
her friend, rolled her eyes and said to me, "OK, go on, hurry up, but you
need to learn how to treat customers," and she waved her hand at me,
letting me know I was dismissed. Such lovely people. I did
overhear a guy tell his girlfriend that I have nice chi-chi's when I
walked by. I know he was talking about me because I turned around
they were both looking at me and he was really embarrassed. I
laughed and said, "Thank you." His girlfriend punched him and said,
"Ha - she heard you!"
Wednesday, February 25,
2004
Shift: 2 AM - 10 AM
Station: Pit
This lady ordered a vodka and tonic, but when I brought it she was gone.
When I came back around again to take orders she saw me and said, "Oh,
there you are, I thought you forgot about me." I said, "You weren't
here when I brought your drink." She said, "I left for just a
second, but I kept an eye out for you." I said, "I'll bring it again
if you're going to be here." She said, "OK, I'll stay right here."
When I brought the drink, she was gone again. As I started to take
orders in another section she came up to me and said, "Here I am." I
started to hand her the drink and she said, "What's that?" I said,
"Your vodka and tonic." She said, "I didn't order that. I
wanted a vodka and Coke." I wanted to smack this lady, but I said,
"OK, I'll get you a vodka and Coke, where are you going to be?" She
said, "I promise I'll be right here," and she sat down at the table.
When I came back she was surprisingly still playing at the same game.
I said, "Here's your vodka and Coke." She said, "Is it a Diet or
regular Coke?" I looked at her for a second, then I said, "What do
you want it to be?" She said, "Diet." I said, "Then it's
Diet." She said, "Oh, you're the best!"
Friday, February 20, 2004
Shift: 6 PM - 2 AM
Station: Dice
I served this lady a martini and she put her tip on my tray and said,
"Here you go." I looked down and saw a penny - one penny - so
I said, "Wow, a penny." She said, "I gave you more than that, see?"
She pushed the penny aside, and underneath it was a dime. I said,
"Thank you ma'am, now I can almost call someone who cares."
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Pit/Dice
On my first round a guy ordered a Miller Lite and when I brought it to him
he said, "I thought you forgot about me," and stiffed me. When I
came by again to take orders he said, "I ordered a Miller Lite an hour and
a half ago." I said, "I haven't even been here an hour and a half."
He said, "All right then, an hour ago." He called the pit boss over
and said, "I ordered a Miller Lite an hour ago and she hasn't brought it
to me." The pit boss said, "She hasn't even been here twenty
minutes, and I saw her give you that beer." I just laughed and
walked away. When I came back, the guy was gone, and a customer
said, "Hey, your boyfriend said to meet him up in the room in an hour and
a half, and bring a Miller Lite." Everyone's a comedian.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Shift: 2 AM - 10 AM
Station: Pit
Man, I almost could not get myself up for work, but I admit it was my own
fault...I had to stay up to watch American Idol. (I've had my
DVD recorder hooked up for about six months now, but I don't know how to
work the damn thing.) Anyway, what a horrible group of finalists!
Last week's group rocked, I have no idea what happened this week.
But I did catch The Ellen DeGeneres Show yesterday, and she had on
William Hung, that sweet nerd
who sang "She Bangs" at the audition, and he performed four songs on her
show: "Bailamos," "Shake Your Bon-Bon," "She Bangs," and "Rocket Man."
I love the guy, and I'm proud to say I signed the
petition to
send him to Hollywood.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
An old man and his wife asked me for directions to a restaurant, then they
wanted to know about all the other restaurants in the casino, the prices,
the atmospheres, etc. I spent about five or ten minutes talking to
them, then the old man said, "You know, you are very nice, thank you."
He reached out to shake my hand, and I realized he put something in my
hand. I looked down, and there was a shiny nickel! I looked at
him, he smiled and winked at me, then he and his wife walked off.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
I was serving a group of four people and as I handed one of the women her
drink she said, "Thank you." Then she looked at her friends and
said, "What am I saying 'thank you' for? I'm on vacation!" I
said, "So what happened, you didn't have room to pack your manners?"
Her friends started laughing, and one guy even high-five'd me.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
My boyfriend and I had dinner with some friends at Carluccio's Tivoli
Gardens, which was known as Liberace's restaurant, and we were talking
about diva behavior from certain Las Vegas performers. My boyfriend
mentioned that he heard that when Barbra Streisand performed at the MGM,
she insisted that when she walked through the casino, every employee had
to turn and face the other way and to not look at her, but one employee
did look at her and he was immediately fired. Another customer
overheard my boyfriend and excitedly ran over to our table and said, "Oh
my God, that is absolutely true! My husband and I both work there
and we all got memos saying to not look at her or speak to her. My
friend was the one who got fired. He was a security guard, he opened
the door for her and said, 'Have a nice day, Ms. Streisand,' and he got
fired for it. Then I saw her on Rosie O'Donnell's talk show where
she denied the whole thing...I was so mad I wanted to send Rosie the memo
as proof!"
Saturday, February 7, 2004
Shift: 7 PM - 3 AM
Station: Breaker
These guys were drinking 7&7's and I was kind of busy so they asked if
they could get two at a time, I said no, but that I would bring them a
drink each time I came around so they didn't have to order each time.
Then they asked if they could have doubles because the drinks weren't
strong enough. I said no, but that I could bring the drinks in rocks
glasses so it would taste stronger. One guy said, "Could you bring
them in bigger glasses?" I said, "Then it would taste weaker."
He said, "No it wouldn't, there would be more because the glass is bigger
(he put his hands about a foot apart), and don't put so much ice in it (he
shook one hand as if pouring ice into a glass)." I said, "If I put
it in a bigger glass (I put one hand about a foot above my tray), the
alcohol is still only one shot (I put my thumb and forefinger about half
and inch apart), and the rest will be 7 UP (I put hand about a foot above
my tray). And the less ice there is (I shook one hand as if pouring
ice into a glass), the more 7 UP there will be (I put my hand about a foot
above my tray), so it'll taste even weaker than the ones you've been
getting." They just looked at me, then another guy said, "It was
fine the way it was."
Friday, February 6, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots
This guy ordered a coffee with lots of cream, and he said, "I like my
coffee really hot." I said, "Well, you must not like it that hot if
you want extra cream." He said, "Just don't put too much cream in
it." I said, "Are you a poker player?" He said, "Yes, why?"
I was like, "No reason."
Tuesday, February 3, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots
This lady walked up to me and said, "Do you know where else I can use
these?" She showed me her coin bucket, which had some quarters.
I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Can I use these anywhere
else?" I said, "Those are quarters." She said, very
frustrated, "Yes, I know, but these came out of a slot machine." I
was trying not to laugh, so I said, "Ma'am, you can use those
anywhere...here, another state, even another country." She rolled
her eyes and said, "Well, I'm not leaving the country, so here, you take
them." And she dumped her coins onto my tray and walked off. I
stood there like a gomer with my mouth open, then I ran back to the bar
and counted my foreign quarters...ten bucks - woo hoo!
Monday, February 2, 2004
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
My boyfriend and I went to Subway and I was really excited because I
hadn't been there for a while and I was craving their Steak and Cheese
sandwich, my favorite. I said, "I'd like a foot-long Steak and
Cheese on white bread, please." The lady said, "I'm sorry, we don't
have white bread." I said, "Yes you do, it's right there." I
pointed to a bag of white bread. She said, "That's Italian. We
no longer refer to that as 'white' because that is politically incorrect."
My boyfriend and I looked at each other, then bust out laughing. The
lady didn't crack a smile, so I said, "I'd like a foot-long Steak and
Cheese on Italian bread, please." She started making my sandwich and
said, "What kind of cheese would you like?" I said, "The white kind,
I mean American, please." She continued making it, then said, "What
kind of vegetables?" I said, "All of them except no black olives or
white onions." She said, "Mustard and mayo?" I said, "Yes, but
could you make sure you segregate them?" She just looked at me, so I
said, "I'm just kidding, go ahead and mix them together." My
boyfriend and I were giggling like schoolgirls throughout this whole thing
and this lady never once smiled, even when we tipped her five bucks for
our amusement (we usually give a dollar). Yeah, with all the trivial
annoyances in the world right now like terrorism, war, 11-year-old Carlie
Brucia being lured and killed by a convicted felon who should never have
been on the streets...let's tackle the real threat to society...white
bread.
Sunday, February 1, 2004
Shift: 12:30 PM - 8:30 PM
Station: Lounge
Every day all day long people ask me, "Is Dollie your real name?
That's not your name - it's a stage name! You're not from Los
Angeles, where are you really from?" and on and on ad nauseam. So today I forgot my name
tag and had to borrow one that said "Francisco from Guatemala." And
do you think one person asked if that was my real name or if I was really
from Guatemala? Of course not.
Instead, I was thinking a lot of people must have a friend named Francisco
because I kept hearing people say, "Hey, Francisco!" when I walked by.
About two hours into my shift I realized people were trying to get my
attention. Then I was like, "ˇSí, hasta I'll be right there maňana!"