Friday, December 17, 2004
So I was watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, like I do every year,
and I realized something: Santa's an asshole. First, he tells Donner
(Rudolph's dad), "You should be ashamed of yourself," because of Rudolph's nose.
What the hell kind of message is that for kids around the world, that Santa
won't accept you if you have some perceived physical deformity? Then later
on in the movie, when Rudolph asks Santa where his parents are (they had gone
out in the blizzard to look for Rudolph), Santa says something like, "I don't
know, but Christmas is tomorrow, and I'll be screwed if Donner's not here."
Instead of saying, "I don't know, and I'm worried sick about both your parents,"
he's only thinking about how his plans are thwarted and he has no plan B.
Spoken like a true contestant on The Apprentice. Finally, on
Christmas Day, when everyone's reunited and happy, except for Santa, who is now
whining about the blinding snowstorm, Rudolph's nose lights up in Santa's face
in all the excitement. Santa holds his hands up and says, "Get that thing
away from me...hey...Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh
tonight?" Well, well, well...look who's suddenly full of poems and eggnog?
And Rudolph, whose nose is the only bright thing about him, goes, "Yippee!
Even though you all treated me like shit, ran me out of town with a gay elf,
stuck me on an island with retarded toys, and I almost got beaten to death by
the abominable snowman, sure, I'll help you out of a jam. I mean, it must
be tough running a sweat shop, putting up with a wife whose only words are,
'Eat, papa, eat!', and having only 364 days to prepare for the big day."
Santa pretty much stayed a selfish prick from beginning to end. Geez, even
the Grinch learned a lesson about the true meaning of Christmas. Other
than that, Rudolph is a great story. Ho ho ho!
Monday, December 13, 2004
I can't decide if this is
scary or cute. I love it either way.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
My C-section is scheduled for December 29, which means I have only 2 1/2 weeks
to go! Since I've got nothing to do except eat, sleep, and roll around, I
created a new page entitled "Did You Know?" It debunks some myths about
Vegas, as well as has other informative stuff. Where else are you gonna
get such valuable info?!
(OK, I know the link on the menu doesn't work. For now, you have to use the link from the above paragraph. Give me some time to figure this out. F**king computer!)
I fixed the link. Thanks to Michael Bluejay for helping me out.