Friday, April 30, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots
Apparently, my web site has been the topic of some heated debates on a couple of
Vegas and gambling message boards recently. I've received a lot of e-mails
in the past few days and I have to say that I've been pleasantly surprised at
how nice, well-spoken, and even funny these e-mails have been. Here are a
few of my favorites:
I have been going to Vegas twice a year, for the past 10 years, and never ordered a drink while playing the slots because I didn't know how much to tip. I didn't want to offend the waitress and I didn't want to make a fool of myself ( I know, how stupid). I just wanted to say thanks for all the info on your site and I will order a drink in September with a little toast to you. Thanks a lot, you helped one shy, small town girl feel a little more confident in Vegas.
Nicole
P.S. I love the manner in which you deliver your message, I found myself chuckling.
Hey Dollie, liked your site, saw that you would be a forensic pathologist if you could; well I am a forensic pathologist, and if I had a million zillion dollars I would play poker all day and tip people like you what they deserved.
Stephen Erickson
Arkansas
Dollie,
I just found your site tonight through a link on rec.gambling.poker – apparently you ruffled a few feathers with your characterizations of poker players – and I have to say your Daily Rounds are absolutely hilarious. The absurdity of the people in your stories had me shaking my head in disbelief as well as rolling with laughter. Thanks for sharing your unique and often overlooked point of view. I look forward to your future updates.
Chris N
I'm a flaming gay guy cowboy apparently, seeing that I do like the occasional Appletini and Crown and Coke.
-James
I think people are surprised that I do reply to their e-mails...here's one guy's take on it:
1. Session Blackjack stake: $450.00 (I'm a low roller)
2. Tips to those great ladies who bring drinks to Blackjack players: $1.00 (Silver, of course!)
3. Replies from a real live Las Vegas cocktail waitress to a very average white guy's e-mail:
PRICELESS!!
Thanks for the note, Dollie. Very thoughtful, really made my day. Brent
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Shift: 2 AM - 10 AM
Station: Pit
I was walking out from the Ladies' room when this woman walked in and stopped me
and said, "Oh! Can I get a Bloody Mary?" I looked at her and said,
"What?" She said, "I need a Bloody Mary." I said, "Are you serious?"
She said, "Yes, I have been waiting for an hour and no one's come around."
I said, "That's because we don't serve drinks in the bathroom." A couple
other women started laughing, which irritated her, so she said, "No, I mean out
there...I have not seen one waitress since I've been here, so can you bring me a
drink?" I said, "Ma'am, I don't even know where you're playing." She
said, "I'll be in there," and she pointed to an empty stall. I just stared
for a second, completely dumbfounded. She said, "Just knock when you get
back with the drink." I said, "Um...OK." I went back to the bar, and
since it was the end of my shift, I got my stuff and went home.
Monday, April 26, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
One of my boyfriend's cameras was stolen from his studio and his car was broken
into so we had to go to the police station and give some additional information.
While we were at the counter talking to the lady, this guy next to us was
talking really loudly, which was really irritating because we were trying to
hear what the lady was saying, and it was hard enough because there was a window
between us and this tiny speaker hole, and everyone knows those things are worse
than the drive-thru speakers. Anyway, so I started listening to this
loud-mouth, and he was going on and on about his ex-wife, what a bitch she was,
that she had taken this and that, that she had claimed domestic violence on him
and of course that was a lie, that he had thought about taking matters into his
own hands but he's a nice guy, and besides, he really trusts the cops and knows
that they'll do their jobs and do it right. I was looking at him and
thinking, God, I've got the white O.J. Simpson next to me. And as I was
thinking this, and he was still going on and on about what a great guy he is and
what a bitch is ex-wife is, a cop walked in, really casually went up to him,
told him to stand up, and said, "Could you put your hands behind your back,
sir?" The guy said, "Why?" As the cop slapped some cuffs on him (I
have been dying to use that phrase!!!) he said, "You have a warrant out
for your arrest." The guy's mouth dropped and he said, "Is this a joke?"
The cop said, "No, I would never joke about something like this. Have you
ever been charged with domestic violence?" The guy said, "That was last
year, my lawyer took care of that, my ex-wife is a liar." The cop said,
"The warrant was issued January 27 of this year." The guy said, "Can I
call my lawyer?" The cop said, "When you get done here, we'll take you
down and you can call from there." The guy was like, "I can't believe
this. My lawyer said he took care of all this, and he's a great lawyer."
I almost bust out laughing...yeah, what a great lawyer, got his number?
The guy said, "I own a concrete company, all the guys are expecting me back at
work." The cop said, "Well, if you can make bail you'll be out by this
afternoon." As
the cop walked him out he was still going on and on about his ex-wife. All
the people behind the counter kept working at their computers, or
talking to each other, even laughing, as if nothing had just happened. I
guess they see this every day. Me, I kept nudging my boyfriend throughout
the whole thing, whispering, "Oh my god! This is going on my Daily Rounds!
Do you think he's gonna resist arrest? Maybe they'll shoot him!" He
was like, "That's great...do you mind? I'm trying to hear what the lady is
saying." I mean, the guy was probably telling all the guys at work that
his bitch of an ex-wife was at it again, so he was going to the police station
to file a report and make her life hell, but instead he got himself arrested. If
that ain't poetic justice, I don't know what is. What an idiot!
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
This lady walked up to the bar and said to the bartender, "Can I get a Yack and
Coke?" Thinking she had a speech impediment, he said, "Sure," and made her
a Jack (Daniel's) and Coke. After she took a sip she said, "What is this?"
He said, "A Jack and Coke." She said, "I wanted a Yack and Coke." He
said, "Yes, Ma'am, that's what I gave you, a Jack Daniel's and Coke." She
looked at him for a second, then said, "You idiot, I wanted a cognac and
Coke!"
Friday, April 23, 2004
Shift: 2 AM - 10 AM
Station: Pit
Here is a contribution from a dealer:
As far as the tipping section:
- A customer asked me what was normal tipping. I politely told him I read a few years back that soft drinks and beer were $1. Mixed drinks were $2.
- In the article I read, a customer should tip a dealer a minimum of their average bet every 30 minutes. That rarely happens.
On stupid questions:
- I had a young kid ask me if I lived here. I said no, I commute daily to Green Bay, WI. LOL
- Another asked me were the Cow Pie table was.
- Where was the War Game? I was on that table when the question was asked.
- After asking for directions, they go the opposite way.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Shift: 7 PM - 3 AM
Station: Pit
These two guys were holding up this really drunk chick between them, helping her
try to walk. I mean, she was literally passed out so that her feet were
dragging on the floor. She was really fat and wearing this really tight
mini-dress. When they walked by me I looked back (don't ask me why) and I saw
that her skirt was hiked up so that her ass was sticking out and all she was
wearing was a thong. My story could end here with "thongs should never be
subjected to being stuck between cottage cheese cheeks," but it gets worse.
She forgot to tuck her tampon string in her crack, and it was just hanging out,
flapping around for all the world to see. It was one of those situations
where you didn't know whether to laugh or throw up. That was just great.
And I missed American Idol for this?!
Saturday, April 17, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots/Sports Book/Keno
This old man ordered a shot of vodka, then he asked if I wanted to be in a James
Bond movie. I said, "Sure, I've always wanted to be a Bond girl." He
said, "I'm John Barry, I wrote the music for James Bond. Well, I'm not the
original John Barry, I've been writing a screenplay since 1957 but they never
wanted to make that into a movie. Here's the poster for the next movie."
And he showed me a sketch of two big zeros and a seven, drawn on a napkin.
I was like, "OK, whatever, I'll be right back." When I brought his drink,
he stiffed me, then he said, "What's your sign?" I said, "Out of service."
He said, "Oh, that's pretty funny. I'll tell Sean Connery to get in touch
with you."
Friday, April 16, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
A young guy ordered a drink so I asked to see his I.D. He said, "Are you
kidding me? It's six in the morning." I was like, "Oh, that's
right...the law doesn't apply between six and six-fifteen in the morning."
He started laughing and said, "Yeah, I guess that was a pretty stupid thing to
say."
Monday, April 12, 2004
Shift: 5 PM - 1 AM
Station: Slots
This girl walked up to the bar and asked the bartender for a White Russian.
The bartender asked to see her I.D. and she refused, so they argued back and
forth for awhile. Finally she said, "Can I get a glass of water then?"
The bartender said, "Well, I'm not supposed to, but I will." So he poured
her a glass of water and set it on the bar. She picked it up, threw the
water in his face, set the glass down, and walked away. The bartender,
dripping wet with his mouth open in shock, looked at the other bartenders who
had witnessed the whole thing - they were laughing so hard they couldn't even
speak. The rest of the night whenever they saw the bartender serving a
young girl, they gave her a glass of water too.
Sunday, April 11, 2004
Shift: 7 PM - 3 AM
Station: Breaker
This lady ordered a Budweiser and said, "Could you keep the cap on it?" I
said, "No, it's against the law for me to serve it that way." She said,
"Well, if it doesn't have the cap on it, how do I know it's a new beer?" I
said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, how do I know you won't do
something to it?" I said, "Ma'am, what do you think I would do with it?"
She said, "I don't know. How do I know you won't give me someone else's
beer? Maybe someone's already drank out of it." I just looked at
her, then said, "Why would I do that?" She said, "I don't know. Then
bring it out here with the cap on it and open it in front of me." I
started laughing and said, "Uh, no." She said, "Fine. Bring me a
bottled water, but leave the cap on it. And don't tell me it's against the
law to leave the cap on a bottled water." I leaned in close and said,
"Ma'am, I will break the law this one time, just for you."
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Shift: 6 PM - 2 AM
Station: Slots
There was a technical problem with the showroom so people had to wait in line
longer than usual. The manager sent the barbacks with cases of bottled
water to give to the people standing in line, and one guy was really irritated
so he asked to speak to the manager. When the manager came over, the guy
complained about having to wait so long the manager apologized and said there
were some technical problems and they were doing the best they could. The
guy said, "This is fucking ridiculous, we've been standing in line for two hours
and all you can offer us is a bottled water?" The manager said, "I'm
sorry, sir, I'm sure it won't be too much longer." She started to walk
away and he said, "Hey!" As she turned around he hocked a huge loogie and
spit it right in her face. Yep. I tell ya...I should be God, because
that is a case for justified homicide.
Thursday, April 8, 2004
Shift: 6 PM - 2 AM
Station: Pit
There was a party of about 10 people in the lounge, they were all in their 50s,
and getting a little wasted. When it got later in the day the bartenders
went around and told all the customers that they had to re-arrange the tables
for the night's entertainment. Everyone was really cooperative except for
this group. The bartenders even offered to put them in the front row, but
one of them slurred, "We're not moving. We've been here all day, we've
spent $150.00 in your casino, we don't have to move...take a hike!" So the
bartenders had to call security, and eventually our beverage manager had to come
and take care of it. When he politely explained to them that they would
have to move or leave the casino, one old lady stood up, tried to flip him off
but she couldn't decided which finger to use, so she stuck her middle finger
from her right hand and
ring finger from her left hand in his face and said, "Look, you fucking motherfucker, you can't make us leave.
Do you fucking know who we are, you sorry motherfucker? We're customers,
we're the reason you have your fucking job, you cock-sucking stupid fuck."
And as she was saying this, wobbling and teetering against the table and on her
friends, there was this distinctive odor. The beverage manager looked down
and realized the lady was peeing her pants, and a puddle was forming on the
floor and he was standing in it.
Tuesday, April 6, 2004
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Slots
This hick guy wearing a cowboy hat asked me where the bathroom was. After I
told him, he said, "Thanks, darlin'." Then he turned and spat a humongous,
juicy, brown wad of chew on a slot machine. It slid down the glass in
front of the reels into the coin slot. I was so disgusted I actually
dry-gagged.
Thursday, April 1, 2004
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
This guy told me, "You're as cute as a bug!" I said, "What kind of bug?"
His friend started laughing and said, "Yeah, you mean like a cockroach? Or
a stink bug?" The guy said, "No, like a bug...I don't know. It's a
compliment!"