Saturday, April 30, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 7 PM
Station: Breaker
Lucky me. I was in the service bar when this girl came flying in, holding
her mouth. She looked around desperately, saw a garbage can and made a
valiant attempt to throw up in it. She missed. Her smelly, colorful,
and chunky puke sprayed on the wall, our lockers, dishwasher, and on the floor.
And it wasn't just one shot, she kept it coming, like a cat trying to get out a
hairball. The odor was a mix between stomach-churning and kill-me-now.
For the pregnant cocktail waitress who happened to be in the bar too, it was "do
as the Romans do," and she ralphed up her lunch. The girl who started it
all was crying and apologizing, "I'm so sorry, I thought this was the bathroom,
oh my god!" The bartender was like, "Shut up! Clean it up!"
And he threw towels at her and he was hooking up the hose, which I thought he
was going to use on her. I was trying to help the cocktail waitress, and
trying to not throw up myself. Other waitresses started walking in to get
their orders and the we told them to go to another bar, and they were like,
"Yuk! What's that smell?!" The girl cleaned up as best she could,
and gave the bartender five dollars because she felt so bad about what she did.
Ugh.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Shift: 10 AM - 6 PM
Station: Pit
Constantine got voted off American Idol...what a rip! I hate that
show.
I was walking towards a couple who was sitting at a slot machine. The girl was playing and the guy was sitting next to her, and he saw me walking up. As I approached he mouthed, silently, "Hi, how are you?" I said, out loud, "I'm fine, how are you?" His girlfriend turned back, saw me, and said, "Excuse me?" I said, "Oh, he asked me how I was doing and I said fine." She turned to the guy, who was suddenly looking the other way, acting deaf. She literally slapped him in the face and said, "What are you doing, talking to her?" He rubbed his face and said, "Damn, girl! I don't know what you're talking about." They kept arguing as I walked away. That was funny.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
So this really greasy drunk guy was going around in my station, sitting down
next to customers and talking to them like he was their friend. I came
around taking orders and he, the big shot, with very red eyes and stinky slurred
speech said, "He'll take a Coors Light, and I'll have a Corona." I said,
"You're not getting anything." He said, "Yes, I'll take a Corona." I
just ignored him and called security. Four security guards showed up;
three big men and one tiny girl. The tiny girl said to the drunk, "Sir,
are you staying in this hotel?" He said, "Oh, yeah." She said, "Do
you have your I.D.?" He took a wad of what looked like shredded newspapers
out of his pocket, then said, "I'm getting money right now. I'm gambling
here." She said, "Sir, you're going to have to leave." He said, "I
know what this is about. I didn't tip the cocktail waitress." She
said, "You're disturbing our guests. You have to leave." He stumbled
to his feet and said, "Fuck you. I was leaving anyway. But I'm
coming back." I watched them walk away, with the small female security
guard leading the way, the three guys never said a word. I guess they were
the strong, silent types.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
This huge black guy ordered a Corona and his wife said, "What do you think
you're doing? You're not getting a drink." The guy looked at me and
said, "I don't want anything, thanks." I guess she's the boss of him.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 7 PM
Station: Breaks
This guy totally knocked over my tray. I was taking orders in the pit and
he walked by and just slammed into me. My tray went flying, bottles,
glasses, and ashtrays broke, and a piece of glass got in my shoe and cut my toe.
He stopped walking, and for a second I thought he was going to help me pick
things up. Instead, he looked at me and a pit boss, who came over to help
me, and said to his girlfriend, "She was in my way." And they both walked
off. Very nice. Dickhead.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
It was a pretty slow night, and as I passed by a craps table with no customers,
I overheard the pit boss telling the dealers, "...I don't like the way it makes
my hair feel. Usually I just shampoo it once, then condition it, but that
new hair product I'm using is just too harsh. So I find myself shampooing
and conditioning twice." I looked back to see one of the dealers running
his fingers through his hair, saying, "You know, sometimes I just let my hair
dry naturally, because the blow dryer is the worst thing for it." And the
other dealers nodded and said, "Yeah, you're right." Let me specify that
these were all men. And the seriousness of the conversation would have
brought tears to all five queer eyes.
In other news, this smooth-talking black guy pulled me aside because he had "something very serious to discuss. You see, I'm not like these other mother-fuckers that come in here, I'm a very classy, very down-to-earth, very sensual man, you get my drift? Yo, now check this. I got ten thousand dollars in my pocket right now. Y'hear me, sis? That's ten thousand green dollars. Now, in ten minutes I'm gonna be in the arcade, and I want you to meet me there. I'm gonna give you ten thousand dollars." I said, "You're gonna give me ten thousand dollars to play arcade games?" He said, "No, that's not what I'm talking about. You see, I'm from Houston. And I wanna leave my mark in Vegas, you know what I mean? I'm like, I'm like very sensual, very sensuous...a mama's boy." I said, "Ewww, that doesn't sound very sensual to me." "OK, maybe I said that wrong. What I mean is, I'm not a mama's boy. I'm like your daddy, you dig? So, here it is...I'm gonna lay it all out...so I got ten thousand dollars." I said, "OK, you're a mama's boy with ten thousand dollars, I got it. What's your point?" "My point is, I'm gonna mack you down. And I'm gonna give you ten thousand dollars for it." I said, "I don't know what that means, but it sounds very scary." He said, "No, no, don't be scared. Meet me in the arcade." Just then another cocktail waitress walked by. He said, "And tell that white girl that I'll give her three thousand dollars." I said, "She only gets three thousand?" He said, "Yeah, I already left my mark with a white girl the last time I was here." I said, "Oh, how nice. OK, I'll see what I can do." Lord. And in case you're wondering, I didn't make ten thousand dollars, and the other waitress didn't make three thousand. Neither one of us wanted to get macked down.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Shift: 1 AM - 9 AM
Station: Slots
Tired as hell - check
Couldn't zip my skirt up over my fat ass - check
Sore feet - check
Sore legs - check
Sore back - check
Sore arm (left, tray arm) - check
Forgot how to call drinks - check
Missed Joshua while at work - check
Anwar voted off American Idol - check
Not a good day - CHECK!!!
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Shift: 11 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
So everyone at work has been really nice, telling me how great I look after
having a baby. But some people have been a little too emphatic about it -
"Oh my God...you look so good...I can't believe how great you
look. That's just incredible. I mean...wow!" - that I'm
thinking I must really have been an unspeakable grotesque montage of horrors
before. I'm like, "Uh...thanks...?" And I'm a terrible mother,
because unlike everyone else who carries a photo album and forces everyone to
ooh and aah at every picture (in an obnoxious New York accent, "Ya gotta see the
baaaby!"), I don't have even one photo of him on me. Of course I think - I
know - that Joshua is the cutest baby that ever lived, and I kiss his
juicy fat face and poke his Buddha belly, and squeeze his yummy buns, and do a
Michael Jackson on him every night, whatever that means, I know that not
everyone else feels the same way. Besides, the last time I had my computer
fixed, my USB ports stopped working, which means I can't upload any pictures
from my digital camera onto my computer. (I haven't been able to use my
printer either, which is another aggravating issue. Damn that Service Pack
2!) So I can't print out any pictures. That's actually been a good
thing, because the in-laws have stopped bugging me for pictures. Anyway,
so here's one picture of my little man!
Monday, April 18, 2005
Shift: 9 AM - 5 PM
Station: Slots
My first day back at work! God, it's like I've never even left.
Anyway, it was a pretty uneventful day. A woman with an English accent
said, "I'd like a spot of coffee." (I swear she actually said that.)
I said, "Would you like cream and sugar?" She said, "Oh, that would be
brilliant!" Gotta love those Brits! This black guy took a seat
at one of my slots, and slept my entire shift. I mean, this was a machine
at the very front of the casino, not in a corner somewhere. People were
coming and going, security should have seen him, and certainly surveillance
should have seen him. But everyone must have felt sorry for him, because
there he was, snoring away, head back, mouth open. Yep...it's good to be
back.